were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
