why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
