But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
