The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
