Pappa wants mamma naked
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
