I want to have your abortion
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
