and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
