I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
