I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
