mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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