i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
