You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm at about main and main street
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
