the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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