i permit you to call me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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