i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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