i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
