i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
