I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
