Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
