we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
