So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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