Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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