literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
