Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
