Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
