I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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