So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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