Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
