I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
