Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
