You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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