you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
