By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
