That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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