I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
