Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
