why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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