She's JV to your varsity
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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