the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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