I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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