wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
