love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
