Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
