He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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