I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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