I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
