the condom got lost in my hair
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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