i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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