That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
50% drunk capacity currently
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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