he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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