Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
